months of restlessness, boredom, solitude, frustration, tears, pain, prayers, sharing, STUDYING... culminated in the flashing of a projector slide and that piece of paper.

i wonder why even though i've achieved my goal i'm not satisfied.. (greed?) i'm not uber happy.. (ungratefulness?) and i feel normal.. (what??)

its as if getting that 7A1s is a li suo dang ran de shi. i.e. predictable, sth that shd happen..

i don't know.. hahah. i prayed not to hv extreme rxns, and God really did prepare my heart v well not to hv extreme rxns. 2 dreams and a teacher. bottomline: NO MATTER WHAT I FEEL, GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL!

Lord, teach me to be grateful.

there's no praise and offering i can give that is enough to thank Him.

on a more serious note.. there are so many needs to pray for.. so many people to reach out to and to pray for. so many in need of God! "there's an urgency in this hour".. God impressed on my heart how impt discipleship is! and yet, i'm so afraid to commit.. so afraid to mentor my 2 girls.. feeling so unable. helpless.

but don't forget.. "be strong and courageous.. be bold as a lion". "i'll never leave u nor forsake u". there's no fear in love.. perfect love drives out all fear.

You overwhelm me.. the way You inspire me, encourage me, motivate me.. the way You make me DREAM. only You can make me dream this way. no other. not even motivational posters or speakers. i'm amazed. praise u Lord!

amen. hallelujah. =)