sometimes i guess one shd b content with first impressions. especially if they're gd. becos if u get to know more of tt person and more of his/her bad points, u begin to like the person lesser.. from when you've started out. hm. haha. but then again, you're believing in a delusion. its almost akin to having a make-believe, imaginary friend, if all u interact with is this false notion (or impression) of him/her.

hmm. issues are always multi-faceted, its so tiring to exhaust all the possibilities and look at it from all the different angles. but sometimes i get a kick out of it. i want to see it from different perspectives. dun wanna b narrow-minded. maybe i should really be an arts student. do lit. sigh. why am i always following the flow? secretly, i blame myself for being too timid to take arts just cos i know i won't do well. how pathetic to suffocate the beginning sparks of interests just because of fear. fear of working harder, fear of making the wrong decision in an impulse. sometimes, i really admire ppl like glanies. who heck care the costs, benefits etc. and just go with their gut and study TSD. how i wish i'm like that.

i'm fearing regret even before i make a decision.

the smell of fear stinks.

the only consistent thing abt me is my fickle-mindedness.. or inconsistency. haa. sometimes i just can't make up my mind. ever had that feeling? plus i'm always high-low high-low. i'm never consistently always high or always calm and sane. i apologise to all my erm.. new friends who have been freaked out by my unpredictability. esp those who hardly know me yet. haha. =) don't worry i'm normal can. just a little weird, a little too complex. i can't figure myself out too.

what i want will never be, cos its not the best for me
so i wonder.. when?