how i wish i can always keep my feelings under control. sometimes its not that simple eh. to feel the way i want to.. towards people, towards circumstances. ahaha.

just deal with it and move on.

food for thought? God is more than a feeling or a thought. He's not only the feeling of peace and joy during worship or after a satisfying conversation. God is more than the character we have "written out" in our minds from studying the bible. its more than expecting Him to do this or that according to the bible. don't get me wrong, all these are not false..

its not enough for me. i'm so frustrated.. yes its cool to know God is a fortress, God is a shelter, He loves and shows grace. its good to feel secure. but more than anything i want to know God as a best friend. a living Person. not only the blessed assurance of salvation i have in thought, but in reality.

its one thing to know that a friend is there for you, and another thing to have that friend beside you talking to you.

i guess thats what has been bothering me and making me feel "depressed". the uneasiness of knowing that something is missing.

i want to find You again.