Rules: Express your Love for SE7EN and get others to know more about you. ;D Copy and Paste the following into your own blog and complete all SE7EN bullets of the SE7EN questions. Then, pick SE7EN ppl to pass it on! Have fun!

7 things tht make me Smile:
1. somebody else's smile
2. encouragement
3. jokes.
4. God's peace
5. break after many periods of lecture/tutorials
6. a gd netball game/training
7. seabreeze when im stoning

7 ways to Win my heart:
1. be someone i can talk to and share with
2. wise+mature
3. be my very good friend
4. spend time with me being yourself
5. godly-inspire me (:
6. run with me
7. cook/do stuff for me haha

7 things i believe in:
1. God
2. love
3. faith
4. hope
5. friends
6. bible
7. gravity

7 things im afraid of:
1. cockroaches
2. utter loneliness
3. falling away from God
4. being blind
5. being deaf
6. being physically disabled (cannot run)
7. deceit

7 things i do everyday:
1. talk to God
2. think
3. drinkeatbreathesleep
4. smile/laugh
5. look at the time
6. look at the mirror
7. walk

7 people i wanna see right now:
1. sinhwee
2. jean
3. Jesus.
4. dad?
5. sensibles
6. you
7. no more

if you read my blog.. PLS DO IT!! hahaha at least TAG. yehh. lovee!

im sick. didnt go for training. quite sad leh. and i dunno how i got sick... i tink cos i slept at 1am that night. plus i ate too much chilli maybe. i duno! =( i can half-breathe but i can't smell. how horrible. ugh.

i realised i hv so much work. den i was like, okay, saturday i have nth on. i shall study hard and catch up. den i already had the "going to study" mood. then suddenly i realised i hv RETREAT ON SAT!! oh my gosh. i wont have time to do anything now. so sad. there goes my "catching up".

think after i come to VJC i enjoy sch life so much, i just more and more heck abt church commitments and stuff. and my spiritual life is really like.. a [sin kx] graph where k is a very, very large value. so inconsistent. feels really.. sigh. just read caron's blog, really admire her. how she still seeks after God even in the empty and dry-ness. i keep telling God okay i must get my life right with You first b4 i can make a diff in vjc. like organising prayer meetings and mentoring and everythg. but then it hit me that 2 years is a very short time.. and when will i ever get right with God? before i know it 2 years might just pass by w/o anything happening already.

i'm becoming so lukewarm. desires of the world taking away my focus from Him. and really, i have no1 else to blame except myself. i keep choosing the wrong things.. help God!!

maybe its the flu but i just really feel miserable. sigh.

and u know the johari window? my dominant trait is supposedly religious. it reminds me of how Jesus called the Pharisees "white-washed tombs".

think thats what my life is right now.. a white-washed tomb.

having 2 separate lives. its like changing clothes. im getting tired of myself.

GP is depressing. i realised tt if i do cry, i normally cry over schoolwork. OMGOSH! so dumb. hehhh. ate a lot of junk today, so as usual im feeling very fat. and i missed small grp today, abit sad initially. and then i realised how incredibly SELFISH i am, once again.

mentoring is a lot abt giving my time.. and my dedication and commitment to their lives. and perhaps a part of me doesn't wanna do it cos i tell myself, how precious little time i hv. then i realised how selfish i really am. how i dont wanna spend my time on another's growth. how i've been so inward looking.. how i wanna spend my time improving myself, in my own growth.. i totally miss the point. "love the lord ur God, and love thy neighbour as thyself." i shd be giving my life to do God's work.. to His people.. cos that's what He deserves.. my all. may my life's passion lie where Your heartbeat is.. not in what i want for myself.

all of my ambitions, hopes, and plans.. i surrender these into Your hands.. "for everything in this world - the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does - comes not from the Father but from the world." my dreams for netball.. for hse comm.. perhaps not rightly motivated. its not just for the results alone. everything that i do, do it for the glory of God. may i not boast in anything except in the cross of my Lord.. of His saving grace. boast not in my flesh, not in my achievements, nor intellect, nor personality.. but just in Him. of what He has done for me.. for US!

when i place my life under the scrutiny of the light of God's word.. when i measure it against the plumbline of His Word.. "He brings to light what is hidden in darkness and exposes the motives of men's hearts". and i despair. for there's so much weaknesses.. a lot of sins, of wrong attitudes, wrong motivations, selfishness, stubborness, defiance, disobedience. and i'm humbled and am brought to my knees. and i tremble. as He searches my heart. and sees all the sins which are perversions to Him. i feel like weeping but i don't, because i know repentance is not in the tears you shed. its about the decision you make to walk away from that rottenness. im sorry Lord. "if you confess your sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." and God once again says, my grace is sufficient for your weaknesses. and He again gives me another chance... for His mercy endures forever, His love is from everlasting to everlasting.

and once again, He has proven His faithfulness, as He walks with me through another valley.
may i not take for granted the grace You've given me. hear my cry.. i wanna walk in your ways again. i wanna turn away from my wickedness, i want to stop hearing myself in the chorus of mocking voices. i want to be set apart for you.. help me CHOOSE to be holy.

and as i choose to walk in You, there are prices to be paid. may i not resist from paying the price. though it may mean lesser company, lesser acceptance, cold shoulders, awkward silences, intolerant winces.. may i remember to live out the destiny you hv for me. don't settle for anythg less. i want to dream big for You again o GOD. make me the emptiest vessel a person can be. =)

oh how imperfect i really really am, as much as i would love to think i'm a generally good person. only God can stand what's lying beneath the exterior.

on a very much lighter note.. not very seriously, i think that my dream guy will hv to be someone who will accept my rottenness and still love me. hehehe. that guy has to be reallllly godly man. hahah. to really love me THAT unconditionally. trust in God to provide! yeah! lolx.

in Jesus name.
amen.

months of restlessness, boredom, solitude, frustration, tears, pain, prayers, sharing, STUDYING... culminated in the flashing of a projector slide and that piece of paper.

i wonder why even though i've achieved my goal i'm not satisfied.. (greed?) i'm not uber happy.. (ungratefulness?) and i feel normal.. (what??)

its as if getting that 7A1s is a li suo dang ran de shi. i.e. predictable, sth that shd happen..

i don't know.. hahah. i prayed not to hv extreme rxns, and God really did prepare my heart v well not to hv extreme rxns. 2 dreams and a teacher. bottomline: NO MATTER WHAT I FEEL, GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL!

Lord, teach me to be grateful.

there's no praise and offering i can give that is enough to thank Him.

on a more serious note.. there are so many needs to pray for.. so many people to reach out to and to pray for. so many in need of God! "there's an urgency in this hour".. God impressed on my heart how impt discipleship is! and yet, i'm so afraid to commit.. so afraid to mentor my 2 girls.. feeling so unable. helpless.

but don't forget.. "be strong and courageous.. be bold as a lion". "i'll never leave u nor forsake u". there's no fear in love.. perfect love drives out all fear.

You overwhelm me.. the way You inspire me, encourage me, motivate me.. the way You make me DREAM. only You can make me dream this way. no other. not even motivational posters or speakers. i'm amazed. praise u Lord!

amen. hallelujah. =)